joe98tj
Moderator
This six thousand pound pig definitely won’t win a single SEMA competition. I’m not even sure how many owners it’s had.
Did you say your boy’s 12 valves got 10” kickers? This thing? Nope. Radio might get one stray Luke Bryan tune if you get within the city limits.
And your buddy’s 4th gen has heated and cooled seats too? This thing’s literally never even had the dial turned to AC. AC’s for cuck’s.
This here puppy proudly wears three hundred thousand miles. If you can’t count, that’s basically a million. So if you’re worried about the mileage, here’s a thought... stop looking at twenty-five-year-old wOrK trUkz bRo.
What year you ask? Well I did say twenty-five-years-old so... add the one, carry the two.... it’s like a 2013.
It’s two wheel drive. “bUt it’S a dUaLLy bRo.” If that gets your panties in a bunch, well I’m sorry but nine times outta ten this slam pig’s hooked to a trailer and I could care less how much Busch Light is at the local mud bogs.
I’ve done all the work to the truck myself because I’m a hoss. So no, I don’t have any receipts.
Crank windows in case you and your boy get too wasted and dump ‘er in the marsh you can roll em down and swim out.
If you pick up any girls with an IQ over 68, they’ll probably comment how it sounds like a school bus.
For the rest of the ladies out there, this will get your nephson’s sisters wetter than a wild hog in a bayou and you can most definitely have yourself one hell of an incest party in a two door.
Starts up every time, first try, extra fries, supersize.
The parking brake’s got the grip of a Boa Constrictor, so don’t worry about those late nights at Tammy Sue’s when you forget to leave ‘er in low gear. Bad boy works like a charm.
It’s loud as hell too because some hillabilly and his woodchuck friends sawzall’d the exhaust off under the cab.
Luckily the one-eyed Willy with the powertools hadn’t heard you could make 900whp with a stab at the AFC, so she’s a p-pump virgin. But if you felt so inclined, it’s got only 1500 miles on a Southbend rated for 700 torque horses.
This milf magnet needs nothing. Let me say again, this truck NEEDS nothing. If a cracked dash or a ripped seat is a deal breaker for you, then you’re probably not hard enough to shift these gears. So take your soft ass to the Toyota dealer and get yourself a Tundra with a tonneau cover to show off to your neighbor Ted and his suburban bald head.
So if you like pulling trailers and chasin’ skirt, let me tell you.. this thing definitely pulls. Just yesterday I put on 300 miles pulling a trailer. Minty fresh.
The 5th wheel is gone and covered up, but I do have a ball for the gooseneck if you’re into that kind of thing.
I’ve found other means to transport my hoopties. I hope someone can hoss out as much as I have in this patina covered pantius-droppus.
If you’ve made it this far and you have basic 4th grade reading, writing, and mathematic skills... I’m asking 5,600 USD in cash. No I don’t want your two square body’s to make one sick automatic half ton. I also don’t want your 250 Banshee, or your hunting photos, or your sister or whatever. Unless your sisters hot...
Cheers.
P.s.
In the last few thousand miles...
Stage 1 clutch
Starter
Front calipers, pads, rotors, hoses
Transmission mount
Slave cylinder and clutch hydraulics
Bed deck
Rear brakes and parking brake cable
Serpentine belt
Tensioner
Mild cooling system overhaul
Fresh inspection
All new wiring and junction box to taillights and trailer plug in
Handful of other little misc.
Sent from my SM-G950U1 using Tapatalk
Did you say your boy’s 12 valves got 10” kickers? This thing? Nope. Radio might get one stray Luke Bryan tune if you get within the city limits.
And your buddy’s 4th gen has heated and cooled seats too? This thing’s literally never even had the dial turned to AC. AC’s for cuck’s.
This here puppy proudly wears three hundred thousand miles. If you can’t count, that’s basically a million. So if you’re worried about the mileage, here’s a thought... stop looking at twenty-five-year-old wOrK trUkz bRo.
What year you ask? Well I did say twenty-five-years-old so... add the one, carry the two.... it’s like a 2013.
It’s two wheel drive. “bUt it’S a dUaLLy bRo.” If that gets your panties in a bunch, well I’m sorry but nine times outta ten this slam pig’s hooked to a trailer and I could care less how much Busch Light is at the local mud bogs.
I’ve done all the work to the truck myself because I’m a hoss. So no, I don’t have any receipts.
Crank windows in case you and your boy get too wasted and dump ‘er in the marsh you can roll em down and swim out.
If you pick up any girls with an IQ over 68, they’ll probably comment how it sounds like a school bus.
For the rest of the ladies out there, this will get your nephson’s sisters wetter than a wild hog in a bayou and you can most definitely have yourself one hell of an incest party in a two door.
Starts up every time, first try, extra fries, supersize.
The parking brake’s got the grip of a Boa Constrictor, so don’t worry about those late nights at Tammy Sue’s when you forget to leave ‘er in low gear. Bad boy works like a charm.
It’s loud as hell too because some hillabilly and his woodchuck friends sawzall’d the exhaust off under the cab.
Luckily the one-eyed Willy with the powertools hadn’t heard you could make 900whp with a stab at the AFC, so she’s a p-pump virgin. But if you felt so inclined, it’s got only 1500 miles on a Southbend rated for 700 torque horses.
This milf magnet needs nothing. Let me say again, this truck NEEDS nothing. If a cracked dash or a ripped seat is a deal breaker for you, then you’re probably not hard enough to shift these gears. So take your soft ass to the Toyota dealer and get yourself a Tundra with a tonneau cover to show off to your neighbor Ted and his suburban bald head.
So if you like pulling trailers and chasin’ skirt, let me tell you.. this thing definitely pulls. Just yesterday I put on 300 miles pulling a trailer. Minty fresh.
The 5th wheel is gone and covered up, but I do have a ball for the gooseneck if you’re into that kind of thing.
I’ve found other means to transport my hoopties. I hope someone can hoss out as much as I have in this patina covered pantius-droppus.
If you’ve made it this far and you have basic 4th grade reading, writing, and mathematic skills... I’m asking 5,600 USD in cash. No I don’t want your two square body’s to make one sick automatic half ton. I also don’t want your 250 Banshee, or your hunting photos, or your sister or whatever. Unless your sisters hot...
Cheers.
P.s.
In the last few thousand miles...
Stage 1 clutch
Starter
Front calipers, pads, rotors, hoses
Transmission mount
Slave cylinder and clutch hydraulics
Bed deck
Rear brakes and parking brake cable
Serpentine belt
Tensioner
Mild cooling system overhaul
Fresh inspection
All new wiring and junction box to taillights and trailer plug in
Handful of other little misc.
Sent from my SM-G950U1 using Tapatalk
